Friday, April 16, 2010

126 Days to Go - "Fear is Useful"

     

Too fat.  Too slow.  Too wimpy.  Too tired.  Too weak.  I'm weak inside.  I've never run that far.  I don't even like running.  My knee is gonna bail.  My back will give out.  I don't think I can run two miles let alone 100.  Not enough air.  What if I run off a cliff?  What if I get renal failure or hyponatremia?  My feet won't survive. What if I don't even make it to 50 miles?  25 miles?  Ten miles?  One mile!  What if I don't even make it to the start line?  I'm a quitter.  I can't do it.  People are going to pay good money/sacrifice vacation time/train hard just to be on my crew and I won't even make it to mile 50 so they can do anything.  I don't want it bad enough.  I've skipped workouts.  I've cut runs short.  I've wimped out many times already.  I'm soft.  Also, too fat.  It's impossible.  This is too tough.  The climbs are too much.  The downhills are too brutal.  The heat will melt me.  The sun will crisp my lily-white skin. This is for real runners, not posers.  What if I pass out?  I've told too many people... People might find out the truth about me.  Too stupid, too clueless, too inexperienced, too everything, too nothing


What if I fail?





...What if I never try?





It is time to go for a run...






 

4 comments:

Moriah said...

You left out "too stubborn" and "too crazy." Surely those count for something?

HappyTrails said...

Too funny!!! You forgot that Ace! I've had the same thoughts about short races, and you are taking on King Kong sized aspirations here.

You.Are.The.Man.

Chris said...

Hang in there Ace! Don't forget inspirational. You stepping up to the Leadville plate got me to sign up for the Tough Mudder and Marine Corp Marathon. It is a bold challenge. But just like running, the hardest part is starting. Keep up the good work.

Vava said...

Hang in there! I'm sure the preparation is much tougher than the race, so just keep going and you'll make it.